| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2006|02:43 pm] |
Haven't posted here in a while...
I've had talks with people I'm close with,
and I've come to the conclusion that I'm pretty
much a huge asshole. I come off as thinking
I'm better than everyone else and I'm really
judgmental about other people.
Really, I'm just a very opinionated person, and
I do mean well, but I'm sick of offending people
and making people feel bad.
So I've been trying to change that, and so far I've
been alot happier and more pleasant.
Lately, I have had not much of a social life at all.
I've been staying at home doing work as all of my friends
and even my roommate, chris, goes out and parties and
whatnot. It kinda sucks staying home all the time, but
I figured that I gotta stop slacking and get serious about this
shit. It really paid off, though. I made the position of producer
in my production workshop class cause I spent so much time
preparing for it, so I'm really happy about that. Now I just gotta
get on top of my co-op stuff and start looking for some jobs already. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2006|12:21 am] |
Been doing some thinking today
I decided that everything is alright
There's no sense in worrying about things all the time
I just gotta get my shit together
No more bitchin
No more complainin
Things are good |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|02:09 am] |
for like the past month
i have totally stopped caring
about myself
about everything
and everyone |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|01:26 am] |
Last night was pretty out there.
Shyam had a party at his new apartment, so Matt, Mike, and Sergei came from Mahwah to go.
Darshan came to, I haven't seen that kid in over a year.
We were pretty much the only non-Indian kids there, and the loudest.
All I remember is playing beer pong and screaming the Fox Sports Theme song and Eye of the Tiger all night.
Then Matt got real drunk and fell into a painting, and gashed his head open.
Then the security showed up, and smelled the weed we were smoking in the stair well.
and Chris and Darshan ran away from the security cause they had weed.
And they hid out in some girl's room for like an hour.
Meanwhile, the cops came, and broke the party up.
And Matt was bleeding all over the place, and about to pass out.
So I went with him in the ambulance and to the emergency room.
And I was there with him til like 5:30 am
And I got really pissed off at everyone else once we got out.
Cause they continued to drink and were too fucked up to give us a ride home.
And I had no money for a taxi.
So I'm outside the hospital, with Matt who's about to pass out, going through his wallet, trying to find money for a cab.
Finally we get one.
And I'm done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2006|09:13 am] |
yesterday kinda sucked
i got a $300 parking ticket for parking in a handicapped zone
which was completely unintentional
i had no idea how i could have possibly done that
then i realized that as your approaching the spot, the signs are hidden by tree branches
which is pretty much my fault for not paying more attention
but considering it wasn't too clear, i'm thinking I should fight it
I mean, it is 300 dollars, money that I do not have right now
but I don't know if I could win that
Chris and I went to Ikea yesterday, the place was insane.
I bought some shelves for my room and a rug.
We also bought a shelf for the bathroom and a bath mat.
We went to King of Prussia later so I could bring my laptop to the Apple store to get looked at, but nobody was available to look at it
We we to Modell's to get some missing parts to the bench we're putting together
I went to Emily's new apartment again last night.
More sleeping on the floor, but at least I got a little amount of sleep this time.
Maybe I should just start sleeping in my own bed.
I am not getting any sleep.
And I end up waking up at 1:30 in the afternoon every day.
lame. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2006|07:21 am] |
I am so beat.
I have spent the past 3 days moving and unpacking.
I'm finally in my new house, and it feels great. I am so happy, finally.
I have a feeling that things are going to look up now.
All day yesterday I was unpacking, and I realized how I have too much stuff.
My bedroom is too small for a desk, so I have no place to store most of my things.
I went over Emily's last night and hung out with her and her friends from home.
She just moved into her new apartment yesterday.
We played Super Mario Bros. 3 and Riff all night.
She didn't move her bed yet, and didn't have any furniture or anything, so we ended up sleeping on the floor.
Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep.
She had to go to work this morning, so I came back home to sleep, and my back, and my feet, and everything is killing me.
Hopefully whenever I wake up today, I can make it to King of Prussia.
I need to go to the apple store and get my laptop fixed.
I also need to go to Ikea so I can buy shelves and a rug and shit.
Yeah, sleep time, later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2006|03:43 am] |
wow, so, my laptop is pretty much fucked up right now
probably from having to carry it around in the rain in my backpack all night
this is great |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|05:34 pm] |
this week is going to be a mess
i have a paper i need to write that was due on friday, and i hope my teacher accepts it late
i have 7 prints i need to make for photography
i have to move out, and i haven't even started packing yet because I just got boxes to pack with
I have to have everything out of here by Thursday
I also have my entire documentary that I need to edit and finalize hopefully by Wednesday
Not to mention I still have class which takes up alot of my day
and finals to study for next week
yay |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2006|01:59 am] |
whoops
hi, i'm back
Tuesday! I move into my new house!
so
you should come visit!
oh yeah, and, regarding my old house
we're just going to throw all of our trash and garbage in our backyard
and leave everything behind that we don't want
because that's how our landlord left the place for us |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|11:16 am] |
Dear whomever decided to smash my headlight and scratch up my car,
If I ever find you, I'll fucking murder you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|12:38 am] |
I wasn't going to go, but then I decided to go.
I was feeling so awesome all day on Friday, I was in such a good mood, and I felt so healthy.
But then, on Saturday, I just started feeling sick again, and today.
But, I thought, if I didn't go to the show, I'd probably just get depressed by laying around all night, so I went.
And it was worth it.
I bought 7 tickets, but everyone bailed on me, except for Bryan.
We were left with so many extra tickets, so I gave one to Amy and I went with her.
Bryan gave one to Big Eric, and one of Krista's friends used the other, soooo, at least I didn't lose that much money.
Amy and I got there late, so we missed Set Your Goals (thank god!) and This is Hell, the latter I was looking forward to seeing, but oh well.
We got there when Murphy's Law was setting up, they were fucking awesome. I saw them when I was in the 8th grade at the Wreck Room, and they're fucking hilarious. I like hardcore that's fun, and not so goddamn serious sometimes.
Comeback Kid played next, and what the fuck? Why were they headlining over Murphy's Law? That's not right. I kinda wish they gave their set to Murphy's Law so they could play for longer, but oh well. I enjoy Comeback Kid, but I've never liked them live for some reason. I danced when they played, figured it'd get me out of my shell a bit, but it just made me feel more like shit, haha.
For Gorilla Biscuits, since I was already sick and hot, I just stood in the back of the room. They were fucking amazing, not as good as when I saw them at CBGB over the summer, but still mind-blowing. As soon as they opened up with New Direction, I was wishing I was able to just go nuts, and that got me kinda pissed, but then I started thinking about how happy I was that I actually went. They played every song I think except for maybe one.
Awesome set, awesome show.
I hope I feel better this week, I got alot of work I need to catch up on, and I'm looking forward to going to Valley Forge and getting wasted on Wednesday. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|07:13 pm] |
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i don't care that i am dying, i am going to go see Gorilla Biscuits because they are the greatest hardcore band ever, and I need this after such a shitty week. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2006|08:08 pm] |
i think that sometimes, we're always wanting to put a significant mark in someone's life
we don't want to be forgotten, we want to be remembered, we don't want to be pushed aside
we want to feel needed by providing for that person
we want to be able to be there for that person and wish for the best for them
but i also think, at the same time, we lose sight of those that are there for us
those that only want what's best for us, and nothing in return
those that really care about you and want to see you happy
we usually push those people aside,
because i think, most people would rather feel needed than loved
those that need you will usually not give anything back in return except the feeding of your ego
you're lucky if you have a friend who truly wants the best for you and desires nothing in return
nobody really needs anybody
the "needy" use the "needed" to temporarily feel happy about their lives
they think someone actually cares about them or loves them
the "needed" use the "needy" to boost their self-worth
they think they care, but they just off reassurance to someone who needs it to feel needed
don't lose sight of those that truly do care about you
true friends are hard to come by
devote your lives to these people
because they devote theirs to you
don't leave them behind |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2006|02:19 am] |
So this morning I went to my doctor to get checked out.
My glands are swollen so much.
He thinks I might have mono so he took a blood test.
I won't know for a few days.
I fucking hope I do not have mono, that would suck so much.
I don't have a fever anymore, though, which is good, but if I have mono, I'm probably going to feel just as worn out for another month. I'll just want to sleep for another month.
Today, I've been feeling so much better though, my throat is still a bit sore, but I feel healthy again.
I constantly want to just lay down though, which is the reason I'm afraid I have mono, haha.
I hung out with Sergei and Shyam, we went to Moe's for lunch.
Then we went to Shyam's and found a tire in his backyard, so we just kept on rolling it down this hill and hoping it'd soar off this ledge into this person's backyard, but it didn't work.
Then we just sat in his hallway for like three hours and talked about stupid shit.
I was gonna go to a party tonight, but, last minute, i just decided not to.
I just got so down out of nowhere and felt like going to sleep, haha.
I really disappointed my friend Matt, maybe it's good I didn't go.
I'd be too tempted to drink and I really don't think that's a good idea right now.
Dani called me like an hour after that and asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and her friend, so I decided to do that.
We just sat in her kitchen and talked for a bit, then went for a decent drive, not too bad.
and Jaci just told me the pancakes I made her a few weeks ago were the best pancakes she's ever had, no joke.
and that makes me feel awesome, haha.
Oh yeah, so apparently, in my documentary class, that video that Chris made about me being a vegan,
and another video about my friend Dan who is also in the class being vegan
prompted one of our classmates, Chandler, to explore vegetarianism.
I get so happy when something like that happens.
Like, people are always telling me it's a worthless cause and nobody cares.
And most people out there won't give a shit, and want to be ignorant and immature or whatever,
but there are a few people that realize good points are being made.
It makes me so excited that something I said influenced somebody to explore alternatives.
That's awesome.
I'm real siked right now.
That's all.
Goodnight. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2006|01:51 am] |
i think it's kinda weird to say this, but i think i'm starting to feel better.
this entire week i've been all sorts of freaking out.
i knew it was going to happen, which is why i think i took it so well.
i was really anticipating it, i just knew it was coming.
oh well.
but, i guess i'm feeling better now, because now i know, and there's no reason to worry anymore.
yeah, i'm definately disappointed and hurt over it, but that's normal i guess.
but, the more i think back on it, like, i realize that it was alot of fun.
i remember how i was giddy like a fucking girl the night after our first kiss.
i remember how good it felt to wake up next to her in my arms.
i remember spending that day with her on the beach, and it seriously being one of the best days ever.
that day i knew i finally found somebody.
and it's sad to let that go, i am really going to miss all of that so much, but looking back and remembering how happy i was makes me happy.
so it's kinda bittersweet.
and three stupid words brought everything crashing down.
and i honestly don't think i "loved" her any more than she "loved" me.
because i don't know what true love really is, i don't know what it's like to be truly in love with someone or devote yourself entirely to someone
they're just words, words have no meaning, they're just labels i guess i realize now.
they're powerful words, though, and i guess they were the wrong choice.
but, i felt a certain way, and that really felt good, and i think that's all that really mattered.
it hurts, alot.
but, i'll move on.
it's just another chapter in my life i'll look back on and treasure.
oh well, that's life i guess, just gotta keep on rolling though |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|09:54 pm] |
what the fuck??
my head is throbbing, my throat is fucking sore, and i have the chills and am constantly shivering.
i hate being sick.
i have a paper that's due tomorrow that i'm incapable of doing.
whenever i try to lay down and relax, i just hallucinate.
i probably won't be able to go to class tomorrow.
fuck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|11:20 am] |
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Before I die, I want to talk to every single person that has had some sort of an impact on my life in any way. I want to confess my true feelings for them, if it be love, indifference, or hatred. I want to make amends for how I've done them wrong, ask for their forgiveness, and forgive them for any ways in which they've hurt me. I guess what I'm saying is, before I die, I'd want some sort of clarity and closure to my life. I don't want to leave with anything hanging. I want everything to be settled before I leave. That is happiness, for me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|08:30 am] |
Fuck, what a way to start a day
what a way to start a week
...this is not going to be a good week |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|12:36 am] |
If imperfections are illegal
Then you should call the cops
And they should lock me up |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2006|07:18 pm] |
Spending all friggin' day in the developing lab = lame.
Therapeutic my ass. |
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